On rainy nights like this....

You are so far away. I can see you but you seem blurry, like your busy talking outside in driveway. I just hope all is ok with you.Today its raining hard and I just love the sound of rain - gloomy and grey - just like how I feel. I am trying to snap out of it. But I wish you could stand with me in the mist of days that are to come and just enjoy.

You did not think I knew what I was doing.

I am puzzled why you think you understood me and how I felt so well after such a short time. It is so hard for me to open up and express my feelings. Five months as friends is nothing in terms of a lifetime. You felt the need to figure me out and then school me on what was wrong with me and what help I needed. I find that the kettle calling the pot black. It definitely caused a riff between us. Are you happy now? I meant to be and always mean to be a positive influence in anyone's life. Cheers.

Lost

As I stand before the mirror I don't recognize the stranger staring back at me.
I miss the person I used to be.
I miss myself, the person I thought I was before I realized the truth. I tricked myself all my life into believing I was 'different', 'unique' 'loved' and 'capable of loving without reservation'. I was trusting, caring, selfless, and much more. For better or worse lots has changed me to become distant, unable to trust, miserable. I miss that once happy and joyful girl I was. I bounced with joy. Now its hard for me to even laugh or smile. I miss the times when I laughed so hard I cried. Now all I see are tears and no laughter seems to be found. What causes us to lose our joy? Sometimes I see people how they are happy and I envy them knowing I don't have that anymore and they do. Its really not fair. I miss that person. I miss her so much. How could I have let her get away?
Its like mourning the death of a loved one.
I often am in quest to find that person again.
I hope I can find my way.

Each day that passes...

With each day that passes and you still don't reach out to me. Do you really think it'll make you just fade away? Is your plan to create distance so that I can forget about you? Or is it so so that you can forget about me? Just add me to the notch on your belt? Chew me up and spit me out? Play with my emotions like they are a bouncy ball? Just a simple, "hope all is well" would be nice. I know I don't really mean anything to you but I can't get over the humanity factor here

Random

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Sigh!!!

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

Where's my Vampire? P.S. Bite me!

Oh boy...I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.

Yes, I'm not ashamed of it: I'm absolutely in love with the Twilight series.

Do you remember the absolute hopelessness and depression you felt when you realized you were a "muggle" and that you would, in actuality, not be able to attend "Hogwarts"?

Well, that's what I'm feeling right now after Twilight.

Where is my Edward Cullen? Where is my breathtakingly beautiful vampire love? Where is the werewolf BFF of mine? One who wants to steal me away from my one true vampire love? Why is no one waging war or fighting over my awesome self?!

After seeing Edward's crooked smile on screen, i almost died and went to vampire heaven - Edward Cullen= PERFECT ..
and if i had to choose anyone to phase me into the vampire world, it would definitely have to be Robert Pattinson and his beautiful crooked smile ... *droooooooooooooollll*

I am totally head-over-heels in LOVE with Edward Cullen aka Robert Pattinson
WHY....
Because he's EDWARD CULLEN!!!!
Because he is VAMPIRE
Because he would DIE for you.
Because he buys cool cars for the people he loves.
Because he sings you to sleep. *awwww*
Because he promises 'Forever'
Because, inwardly, I have a thing for blood play
Because he's not the hero, he's the bad guy.
Because his crooked smile makes you forget to breathe
Because he has perfect handwriting.
Because he makes sarcasm sexy.
Because he will purchase a bed for you, even though he never sleeps
Because he has perfect handwriting.
Because he growls.
Because they just don't make them like that in this century SIGH!
Because he's unique in a cool, un-emo/goth/schoolshooter way.
Because he has pretty eyes. (that change colors!) *swoons*
Because he can stay up all night. *winks*
Because he will never leave you, even if you kiss another guy.
Because mood swings are hot.
Because he's rock-hard. (don't bother giggling, the pun is intended)
Because he watches you in your sleep.
Because he says the word 'sexy' on occasion
Because he drives over the speed-limit. (Aha)
Because he loves his family.
Because he's old fashioned.
Because he's Edward Cullen, dammit!